Getting Diagnosed With Autism as an Adult: What Happens Next

A growing number of people are receiving autism diagnoses as adults. For some, it comes after a child is diagnosed and the parent recognizes themselves in the description. For others, it comes after a lifetime of feeling fundamentally different without being able to explain why.

The first reaction is often not what people expect. Instead of distress, many report profound relief. Finally, a framework. A word. An explanation.

Then, for many, comes grief — for the child who didn't know, for the years of struggling without support, for the relationships that fractured because of misunderstandings that could have been navigated differently.

Here is what is actually useful after an adult diagnosis:

Find an autistic community. ASAN, Autism Women & Nonbinary Network, local groups. The experience of being in a room (virtual or otherwise) with people who think similarly is unlike anything else.

Disclose strategically. You are not required to tell anyone. Think about what you want from disclosure before doing it. Some employers and relationships will respond well. Others will not.

Seek accommodations where they help. Noise-canceling headphones. Working from home. Written communication over phone calls. You are entitled to reasonable accommodations under the ADA in most employment contexts.

Most importantly: a diagnosis is information, not a sentence. Who you are has not changed. What has changed is your ability to understand it.